lullabies for sleeping monsters
by Unholy Preacher
Summary: After having transformed into the devil, Jin Kazama ends up in a mental ward. But is he delusional or a delusion himself?
1. dead air (a prologue)

Disclaimer: Jin Kazama is a property of Namco.  
  
Screams of insanity come out from dark corners - at least, that's what it seems like. I walked through the halls cautiously, as if expecting some mad man to come out from those shadows any minute and attack me. I knew I was being silly, but that feeling of paranoia lingered no matter how hard I tried to suppress it. At last, I finally arrived at the designated room. The patient's real name was unknown. The only name he gave us was what the doctors had come to address him by - Jin.   
  
Jin had been found wandering around the outskirts of the city. When the police had found him, he was babbling something incoherently about the devil. Of course, they dropped him here where he was diagnosed as a schizophrenic.   
  
He had no information on him - nothing that told us about his real identity. When asked about his family he would once again go into his talk about the supernatural.  
  
I entered his room quietly. He was sitting on the bed with his knees bent upwards, his head against the wall staring blankly at the opposite end of the room. He was dressed with the clean white garments that the hospital provided for him.  
  
"Hello Jin, how are we feeling today?"  
  
Nothing. Not even a gesture.  
  
I take a seat at a chair next to the bed. After a long moment of silence, he suddenly raises his voice.   
  
"How would you feel if you had the devil inside of you?"  
  
His glare unsettled me for a bit until I finally regained my composure.  
  
"Is the devil telling you to do things Jin?"  
  
His eyes widened even more than it already had; and his tone became angrier. He began with his teeth clenched.  
  
"No one is telling me what to do. I'm not hearing voices. I'm saying the devil is inside me; I am the devil!"  
  
Part of my mind was taking a note of where the door was. In some cases, patient would get physically violent. I was about ready to run for it and call for security. I decided not to be hasty though, and tried my hand at calming him down.  
  
"You mean you have a dark side. We all have that Jin…"  
  
I tried hard to hide the distress in my voice. He looked away and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and started reciting a prayer. Don't ask me which, I wouldn't know. But as he was doing this, he was rocking to and fro on the bed.  
  
After a few more minutes of listening to him repeat the same prayer over and over again, I started to get up and headed for the door. Our sessions usually ended early. And this day would be no different. I was about to open the door when Jin called out from behind.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
I looked back startled for a bit. I didn't think he was going to talk to me anymore that day.  
  
"I've told you my name before Jin, I'm Dr. Sandoval."  
  
He looked up at me with dark sad eyes.  
  
"I mean your name, what do your friends and family call you?"  
  
I hesitated for a brief second then smiled.  
  
"June, my name is June."  
  
He lightly laughed.  
  
"My mother's name was Jun."  
  
I walked back towards the chair and sat back down.  
  
"Really? Tell me more about her. Where is she now?"  
  
"Dead…"  
  
He whispered as he looked away from me again.  
  
"Look, Doctor, I know you're only trying to help but it won't do any good. You can't help me. It would be better if you just left me alone."  
  
author's note: inspiration for this story (other than Tekken, of course) is Hellshock vol. 2 (Jae Lee, why have you forsaken us!?) 


	2. fractured thoughts

I sat there on the edge of the bed, staring outside. It was already midnight and the hospital personnel had already locked all the doors to the rooms. I watched through the window as the drops of rain pelted its glass - as well as the windscreen and rusted iron bars in front of it.   
  
It was strange watching the world outside through the rusted thin cylinders that intersected with it vertically - dividing the view into separate little sections. But a clear unobstructed view was a small price to pay for regaining my sanity.  
  
Not that I'm insane - perhaps temporarily, but not really. I just use it as an excuse to stay here. I know it would be too dangerous if I lived outside. The bars help ease my peace of mind - making me feel as if I was trapped here inside this hospital, this room. But I knew deep down that it would never in a million years hold me back. It was just a symbol.  
  
I thought back during that time when my own grandfather shot me and I first turned into this. I was so confused back then, so full of anger, so full of rage, so full pain - pain of having been betrayed by the only family I had left. It wasn't what you would call a possession; no, I wasn't possessed by the devil. The actions I took were by my own volition, not some supernatural force controlling me. Of course, I hadn't thought of this back then. I was too confused, too panic-stricken. When I arrived here, exhausted from experience of flight and all that had just happened, I couldn't think straight. It was too fantastical even for me. The cops found me and questioned me. I couldn't answer anything back then. I was too shocked to say anything except ramble on incoherently about what had happened to me. They thought I was crazy, of course, and placed me here.  
  
That turned out to be an unexpected blessing. The time spent here gave me the chance to collect my thoughts and think over the past events.  
  
After my mother died, I thought I had a grasp of what evil was. Toshin personified it for me. But I know now that it wasn't evil, just a force of nature. It was beyond moral standings of right and wrong. It just did what it was supposed to do. No, the realization of evil came to me through a bullet. Greed; that was what drove my grandfather - a lust for power. That was what drove my father too. And his pact with the devil personified that evil. It was not the Toshin, it was me.  
  
I had power now - real power. I felt it within me, growing stronger each passing day. I knew that, if I wanted to, I could slaughter every living being here in this hospital - or simply just tear open the bars and escape. It was a power that tempted me everyday; I was a Mishima in blood, after all. I knew I had the same capacity for evil as my father and grandfather. I wanted that power, though I also knew I needed to supress it for the safety of those around me. But sometimes want is much more powerful than need.  
  
I took one last glance at the drenched city below. Then closed my eyes and sat crossed-legged at the center of the bed. I had started practicing meditation since I arrived here, to control the urges. From outside the halls I could hear screams of anxiety and fear from the other patients. At first the constant screaming and their pleadings of innocence distracted me. But as time went on, I used this to strengthen my concentration and harden my resolve. 


	3. one

Electricity - that was what one felt in the air whenever the sun began to set in the city. At least that's what I felt every time I walked along the crowded sidewalks during that part of the day. The city prepared itself for the coming darkness as the night-owls sat up on their beds, contemplating the night's activities.   
  
It was something that has never affected me. The night didn't concern me at all - not its secrets or its cloaked sins. These were something that have always been, and always will be. It was better to just shut them out and get on with the drudgeries of life. One of my colleagues had come to label me as a schizoid. Sometimes I think he's right. I felt as if I should be one of the patients rather than the doctors.   
  
Yet here I was, looking out into that city sunset in the room of one of my patients. That electricity could never enter into these grounds, and I watched it curiously from a distance.  
  
I turned to Jin who had his eyes on the setting sun as well. "What are you thinking Jin?"  
  
It took a bit of time 'til he finally answered, as if he was thinking of what to say. "That cross…"  
  
I looked out into the window again. There was a church in the distance - a cross on top of its spire. "What about it?"  
  
"I've never been to a church." He said quietly.  
  
"Are you a Christian?" I asked.  
  
"No." Quietly again.  
  
"Most patients who claim clairvoyance are usually religious fanatics."  
  
No response.  
  
"Do you want to go to church Jin?"  
  
"I don't know if I can." He paused, contemplating his choice of words. "I might burn or something."  
  
"Maybe you should go to church. You'll see that it won't have any effect on you and you're not the devil after all."  
  
"Would you take that chance?" He questioned suddenly.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"If you've never seen fire before and don't know what it is," he began, "yet someone told you to put your hand in it and promised you that it won't hurt you, would you do it?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess I would. Why would anyone tell me that?"  
  
"You mean why would people want to alter your sense of reality?"  
  
I snickered. "There's reality, and then there's what you perceive as reality."  
  
"Yes. But why would you believe what anyone tells you if what they're saying is contrary to what you know as the truth?"  
  
"Because that's vanity; how can you claim to be right all the time, and know more than the other person?"  
  
"It goes both ways." He said under his breath and then raised his voice. "So you believe what everyone says? Just because you think you don't know anything?"  
  
I sighed. "I guess it depends if you trust the person who's telling you."  
  
"Like who?"  
  
"Like people who care about you - your friends, your family…"  
  
"No," he quietly interrupted, "you can't even trust those."  
  
I thought for a second. "Tell me about your family Jin. You seem to resent them."  
  
"There's nothing to tell."  
  
"What about your mother; you mentioned before that she died." I paused for a brief second to think about my choice of words on a potentially sensitive subject. "How did she die? Maybe this is the reason that you've built this fantasy world around yourself."  
  
He laughed lightly at that. "Fantasy world…"  
  
"…This guilt driven image that you have of yourself." I continued. "I mean, the devil, Jin! What could you have done that was so horrible that you would think of yourself as the devil?"  
  
He sat there as if contemplating. "When I was fifteen, my mother was killed by a monster called Toshin…"  
  
As he continued on with his tale, my heart sank. I think it would have been better if he was only mocking me, but I knew that he believed every word of what he told me. And my pride in the belief that I had made progress and actually reached him…shattered. It was then that I noticed something on the floor beneath the bed.   
  
I looked up into his eyes. "Why haven't you been taking your medications?"  
  
He became silent and looked at the spot where I had been staring earlier. He didn't say anything.  
  
"Those will help keep down the delusion and hallucinations Jin." I pleaded.  
  
He shut his eyes and talked slowly, emphasizing every other word. "I don't want anything to dilute my mind."  
  
"They'll help you get better Jin. You have to take them." I slowly reached out and touched his forearm.  
  
He pushed it away. "…Just go."  
  
I stood up and went outside the door. I knew I needed to get some people to help secure him while I register a shot for him. 


	4. paradise lost

The storm outside gave no signs of remitting as the thundering grew louder and more prevalent. I tore at the remains of my tattered clothing. They had been partially ripped as I struggled to keep from being injected with the medication. The urge to transform was so strong back then, but I knew I had to control myself. It took every ounce of self-control I had.  
  
It left me feeling tainted. I wanted to be pure, to be cleansed. The water pouring outside called to my very blood. I had a strong desire to break through the walls and bathe in the rain - to wash away all the impurities inside of me.   
  
I laid there naked, my head faced down against the floors, as pain surged through my entire body. Blood rose up from beneath my skin. My arms and chest burned as I struggled to hold back my cries of pain. Finally, I couldn't hold it any longer as I felt my back being ripped open. Something soft tickled its way through the two open gashes. I opened my eyes and saw blood trailing into large puddles on the floor.   
  
The pain continued on until I could feel the two wings protruding from behind my back. It had become a part of me, very much so like my arms or my legs. I had muscles there that helped move it in whatever position it would allow. Despite this, it still felt alien to me.  
  
A light broke though the darkness as the door opened. The light from the hallways hit my eyes and I struggled to see who had just come in - it was June. She had both hands over her mouth from shock. I must have quite a sight, naked and stained in fresh blood that spread through the floor. The two black feathered wings the only means I had of keeping decency. "Oh my God, Jin!" she had said in a hushed horror.  
  
Another thunder sounded, joining the noise of the rain as it poured all over the city. I couldn't take it anymore, I rushed towards the barred windows and broke into them - sending shards of glass and rusted metal crashing to the streets below.  
  
My wings pushed down into the air to keep me in flight. I felt the cold raindrops pelt my skin like little harmless daggers. The cold burned and the blood that clung to my skin became washed away. I almost expect my wings to melt and let me drop to the ground, but it didn't. Instead, I flew higher - blindly into the night. 


	5. descending

I looked at my pale reflection in the cracked bathroom mirror. A pair of dull green eyes stared back at me. It didn't help that I had very little sleep since the night I last saw Jin. Or at least, I think it was Jin.   
  
A bouquet of dead roses appeared in the corner of my eye. It was in the window. I stood up and bent my head down to take in its fragrance - my long jet-black hair spilled all around it. I reeled in its scent - the smell of decay. I reached to feel its rough dry petals, but it crumbled slightly before I had the chance to completely examine its texture against my skin.  
  
I looked up into the window outside. It was bright out. I never liked the sunshine. There was nothing in the world that deserved to be shown in full light. Everything is ugly when seen completely.  
  
To me the most beautiful days were the stormy ones. When the clouds would cover up the sky in dull grey and everyone was subject to judgment from the heavens. The clouds would rush up like the coming angels of apocalypse.  
  
Angels with black wings would fly up and go away forever. I thought of Jin, of where he was now. It had been three days and there was still no sign of him. Nobody believed that he could have survived that fall, but the question of where the body was became unsolved. I knew better, of course. He didn't fall, he flew. But I was not about to tell that to the police, nor to anyone - especially the hospital committee. They all thought that I was unstable enough as it is. I don't even think some of them believe that I'm competent enough to be a doctor.  
  
I stepped out of the bathroom and into the bed. As I hit the mattress, I fell immediately to sleep. The sound of the church bells ringing woke me up to a start. I looked out at the windows and could see the sun was already beginning to set. It hid behind the church spire near the horizon. It was the same church that Jin and I had been talking about.  
  
I was never a religious person. My parents were strict Catholics but they never rubbed off of me no matter how many times I had to go to church. It wasn't that I didn't believe. Actually, I don't know if I did or did not; I just didn't care. But that last encounter with Jin made me question what I believed in. I mean, he sprouted wings right before my eyes. Or maybe that was all just some bizarre hallucination; maybe I was going crazy after all.  
  
Whatever it was, I decided it would do me some good if I headed to the ringing of the bells. So I put on some clothes and a long black coat; I really didn't care if it wasn't that cold out, they were the only thing that I felt comfortable in.  
  
It was one of the few times that my skin bathed in the glow of the sunset. I walked the few short blocks from my apartment building to the church. It was empty. There were no masses being held. I looked around for a bit - staring curiously at the pictures of saints, of the Virgin Mary, and of course, the crucifixes. Where Jesus stared back silently, his hands spread out from either side of him.  
  
I really didn't know what I expected to find here. I was about to leave when I saw something moving from the corner of my eye. It was from the corridor near the back of the altar. It could have been nothing, but I decided to investigate it anyway. I followed the hallway through 'til I saw a glimpse of a hooded figure. As I got nearer, it walked faster. Then finally it ran, so I ran after it.   
  
Our foot-steps echoed across the empty halls. As I chased after the figure, I wondered why I was going after it. I certainly couldn't think of any reason other than it ran from me, so there must have been a reason it did. We went down a flight of stairs. The surroundings had become increasingly dark. I chased it faster until I realized we came to a dead halt. Before us was another altar. The church had one below incase the top floor became too crowded.  
  
It was dusty; I could tell that it hadn't been used very often. It was not as dark because there was a light coming from the windows on the top that were just above ground. The hooded figure slowly turned around. I could see his face being lighted just from under the sun; it was Jin.  
  
I yelled in surprise "Jin, what are you doing here?"  
  
He hadn't taken his hood off still, and he answered quietly and deliberately like he always did, "I wanted to see if I would burn or not."  
  
I really couldn't think of a response. "So where'd you get the threads."  
  
"…In a clothes-line somewhere. I really didn't want to steal from anyone, but I needed to."  
  
"So why all this drama…? Why did you run away from me?"  
  
"I didn't think you'd want to see me again after you saw what I really am."  
  
"I really don't know what you are Jin, but I know you're not evil."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because evil is something you do, not what you are." I paused. "And so far, you haven't done anything wrong."  
  
He smiled and pulled the hood off. "I stole these pants and this jacket."  
  
I laughed a bit at that. "Why don't you come back to the clinic with me?"  
  
He shouted immediately. "No! There would be too many questions."  
  
I knew he was right. "Well, come with me to my apartment then. You'll be safe there."  
  
He fell silent for a moment, thinking about it. "Alright then…" 


	6. Chapter I

Drop after slow agonizing drop, the water leaked out of the faucet, directly into the drain. The steady, timed sound produced echoed throughout the dark empty rooms and corridors. A sudden influx of light interrupted him, as a car could be heard passing-by on the street outside.  
  
"June?" he softly called out.  
  
She did not stir. Her green eyes stared dully at him as she lay unmoving in the kitchen floor. Everything was still, blood was everywhere, streaks of it were smeared on the walls; utensils and appliances lay about scattered randomly.  
  
A children's lullaby could be heard. Jin ran down the stairwell, into the city-streets, desperate to escape the scene. Whispers trailed behind him.  
  
It was empty in that part of the city. No one came around there to have fun and enjoy the night. In fact, most people tried their best to avoid it at night. There were predators that could have lurked anywhere in the darkness.  
  
A police car passed-by slowly. Jin made a sharp turn into a back-alley before he could be seen.  
  
"Jin…" a voice called out behind him.  
  
He turned around, but could not see anyone there. He continued walking on the trash littered path. There was a slight chuckle to his left, he turned around again but saw no one. He began to walk again but that same chuckling voice gave a full-fledged laugh.  
  
"Who's there?" he screamed to the shadows.  
  
Another voice joined the laughter, and then another one joined in as well, and then another. Soon laughter rang all around him – mocking him. Jin sunk down to his knees, his hand were drawn up to cover his ears. The laughter did not cease though, until one voice soared over the others.  
  
"Over here." A voice called out.  
  
Jin looked up and saw a dark figure in the shadows. Once he saw it, the figure quickly turned to another alleyway.  
  
"Hey!" Jin called after it and ran.  
  
He followed it as fast as it could, but it was always way ahead of him. Always seen turning to another passage. Jin did not even realize where he was going – or rather, where the figure was leading him.  
  
A realization of familiarity hit him though, as he saw the cloaked figure turn around to face him – a cross right behind. This was the same underground altar where he had lead June days ago.  
  
He could still not see the figure's face though. It was well hidden in the darkness. An offensive odor snaked its way into his senses; he turned around and was horrified at what he had not noticed before. Freshly mutilated corpses were hung and scattered throughout across the large room.  
  
Jin placed a hand over his mouth to keep away the stench. He looked back at the figure in horror and disgust.  
  
"Who are you!?" his scream echoing throughout.  
  
The figure slid back its hood, revealing a gaunt pale face, and a pair of golden eyes. Jin could not even speak. It was June, her stare as life-less as he had left it. "Don't be afraid Jin; I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
"Why did you bring me here?" a trace of panic could be heard in his voice.  
  
"To take you back…" she answered quite simply.  
  
Jin, confused and a bit frightened, turned around and was about to run when he heard her call after him. "You were always weak Jin."  
  
He stopped.  
  
"Remember that story about you told me about you mother; how she was killed because she was strong?" She did not wait for an answer. "Why is it that you survived that encounter with the Toshin? Death prefers the strong ones. So don't worry, you won't be killed tonight."  
  
"What do you want then?" he answered weakly. He turned around to see that there were more cloaked figures surrounding him now. The laughter he had heard before started again. It was them. One by one, they slid back their black hoods to reveal a face-less gathering. He could see that June's features had disappeared as well. They were now all laughing at him.  
  
Jin couldn't take it anymore and began laughing along with them. He sunk back down and curled-up on the floor, laughing. He could feel his tears trailing down his face. He brought a hand to wipe them, but he could not find his eyes. He could not find anything. All he could feel with his hands was the fleshy smoothness of his skin. He no longer cared anymore. Everything went suddenly black.  
  
~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~^+^~  
  
Two men stood outside a grey door. A glass was placed in the upper-center of it, so people could see inside. Both men wore a long white coat; one was young while the other was older.  
  
"This patient's name is June Sandoval." The older one stated. "You'll be assigned to her."  
  
"I haven't read her case file yet." The younger of the two warned the other.  
  
The older man chuckled. "She's a little bit interesting. She thinks the devil is after her – claims that he talks to her sometimes."  
  
The young one said nothing and just continued staring at the woman in the padded room.  
  
"She even has a name for him." The old man smiled amusingly.  
  
"Really? What?" The younger one looked at him curiously, waiting for an answer.  
  
"Jin." The old man smiled. "Can you believe that? Of all the names you could give the devil."  
  
The younger man chuckled. "Yeah, that is kind of strange. What sort of a name is Jin anyway?" The two men laughed as they slowly made their way to the other rooms.  
  
The end. 


End file.
